The Crew Deathmatch- ROUND ONE.

Results:

Wan Tan Mee Eating:

"And Wei Yun lunges! Panit seems to be dying, what a disappointment, who would have thought that someone that boinky would be so bad at eating noodles? And he eats this for lunch so often, shame, shame, really... Back to Wei Yun. The nineteenth bowl of Wan Tan Mee in two hours, and she's gobbling it up, Panit can't even finish his second, pathetic he is, pathetic... She's gobbling, chewing, swallowing, what precision, what skill, what- she's almost done- WEI YUN WINS!"

(Though outside, Amy has eaten about 28394703423 bowls by then and is now starting on dessert)

Tomato squishing:

"This one is going to be close. Priya has stopped squishing the tomatoes and has taken to eating them, so it's up to Darren and Su. Su seems to be winning. She's now on her twentieth heap, she's almost done, Darren's got to pick up speed... No, wait! WHAT IS THIS? Su Yin has been distracted by... NO, NOT THE TOFU, THE TOFU'S FOR THE NEXT ROUND OF THIS DEATHMATCH, GO BACK TO YOUR TOMATOES SU YIN! Stop running towards that mound, I KNOW you're salivating, it's- OOOOOOF!"

*commentator gets knocked over; Darren wins*

Rolling down a hill:

"And it's time for the rolling competition. Sarah versus Sara. Sarah's picking up speed, she's using her running skills to win this one, she's obviously got the advantage here, Sara's going to have a hard time- no, Sara, don't knock into a tree, you're supposed to end up at the finish line, not in the hospital! No, wait, what is that at the finish line? That's EVAN KAY! Now things are starting to get interesting.

Sara's starting to actually try. She's rolling down the hill in a circular motion- a lesson learned from Panit maybe- she's overtaken Sarah, overtaken the runner- OH GOD SARA YOU'RE CRAZY, SCREAMING EVAN'S NAME REALLLY LOUDLY? She's rolling, rolling, my, we can't see her, she's just a blur now, can't you hear the passion in her voice, I can, marvellous- AND SHE WINS! COME AND COLLECT YOUR TROPHY- no, wait, I think she's more interested in Evan. Oh well."

Opera singing:

*the windows crack. Jasryn advances to the next round because the announcer bribed her to shut up*