I say... Bah. This is what we REALLY are. :D I will do half, Darren will do the other.
Un-funniness and randomness ahead. Rawr.
Su Yin is a part-time bartop dancer, full-time closet closet that resides in the middle of Honolulu in which she plays the sitar and takes photos of mountain lava to sell to tourists at exorbitantly high prices, all this while wearing an angel outfit and gazing into their eyes with a sad, sad gaze: beware. If encountered, she can be fought off with excessive amounts of boy band music and viedo clips of WeiYun singing "I'M NOT WEARING UNDERWEAR TODAY!" Is an expert on sex education and anything related, and dearly enjoyed her pink present and the vanilla candy, due to much practical usage. Her secret dream is to open a Host Club with Brad Pitt (don't tell Jasryn), Stephen Hawking, and Darren Goon. Dum dum dum. P.S: the book she is always seen writing in is a Death Note.
WHAT IS THIS?????? LIES!!!
HAHHAHAHAHAHA! Inspiration from 'The Love Guru' ? '_'
Jasryn is the world-record holder for most flights of stairs fallen down- 1398472342; this was done using all sorts of awesometastic trips, such as ski trips, road trips, and guilt trips. Note that the last one was done with the assistance of a Mr. Panit B. Was disappointed because she did not manage to trip over space, and has to be constantly comforted by people shoving photos of her camwhoring into her face every five seconds. She is now married to Brad Pitt and they live in a cushioned house in the middle of South Africa in which Jasryn is still hunting for an ant that is at least a nanometre smaller than her. We predict this will take a lot of evolution and a lot of shiny objects. Meanwhile, the two of them live with sixty adopted children from developing nations and tigers used to chase off offending visitors such as Tai Kai Sheng. Is highly allergic to Mandarin and pigs- they make her CLOSE HER EYES.
Darren is, quite frankly, a Goon: there's nothing else that can be said for this man. He offers his support for the world's worst football team by dressing in red polka-dotted outfits in which he thinks he is a Red Devil; nobody has the heart to tell him that "Red Devil" sounds like the name of some sort of stripper club. Deep down, we all know that Darren is a Jonas Brother; Goony Jonas, only he was kicked out for being too manly and now lives on the streets handing out "Coooookies! :D" to little children. His current ambition is to open a char kway teow restaurant in which the logo is a swinging thumbs-up with his trademark smile *white flash on his teeth*, but before that he will probably go to Australia to hunt for the Loch Ness monster- if he can make his way out of jail after he was arrested for sexual harassment charges of a celebrity that was absolutely not known as Megan Fox. His father, Alex Ferguson, will not be able to comment because he is chewing too much gum.
Jing Min is the reincarnation of several great philosophers, including Aristotle, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Avril Lavigne and Mr. Newton. While she has secret plans to sit on the earth with a giant donkey, she hides them under the facade of normalcy and her secret diary that hides a secret affection for Albus Dumbledore and Severus Snape... Especially when the two of them are together. Yes she is a yaoi fangirl. Wants to be a parachuter, is probably going to end up as a mad scientist, and will definitely end up being the most insane one of all of us... When we drive her nuts. We have already planned her institutionalization in the middle of South Africa, in which Jasryn's tigers will torture her to death with their claws. Or we can just read Julius Ceasar to her until she goes mad. Before that, however, she is going to poison us to death slowly with a melange of good food and too many cakes. And give Wei lots of MONEY.
Have you forgotten that DUMBLEDORE IS GAY!?!?!?!
[Darren will write the rest. Yhey]
Wei Yun is the only person in the history of the GALAXYYYY (and not forgetting the tiny dwarf star PLUTOOOO) to defy the basic law of diabetes, which states that "If thou has eatheth lotseth of teh candeth, thou shall suffer the horrendous onslaughteth of DIABETESETHHHH" With an added "OMG!" for dramatic effect at the end of that sentence. She has also broken the record for number of words read in 15 seconds, which is now 31646134674. (The previous record was 34) A Cambridge wanna-be, she intends to join her long-time idol Jesus in college, where they will host 'wild' sugar parties where she will recite one of her many pieces of poetry/short stories, freshly gleaned from the dry paddy fields of NaNoWriMo where she writes 1345167 words a day for the rest of her life in order to win a giant orange gummy bear which she will NOT EAT, instead framing it up in a large glass box to be exhibited to curious visitors to her shiny cushioned apartment unit, cue gasps of admiration and frenzied camera-clicking.
Panit once had a golden spoon inexplicably shoved up his umm... yeah, which shoulders most of the blame for his extreme grumpiness. He was born as a tiny baby (tiny, relative to one Jasryn Ng), and just look at him now! Also the world's most reknowned serial poker, but it only takes effect on certain individuals (girls). In addition, the lack of a funny bone or a humour nerve (people in The Crew have 5 each, except Wei Yun, who has 36) fuels his perception that the world is against him and that we are all idiots. Charming. It has been foreseen that Panit's child shall at all times sit hunched over his latest copy of The Dictionary (balanced precariously on his BOINKY, more on that later) with his thick glasses. Panit is also known to possess the extraordinary ability to fall forwards, yet rebound back to his original standing position without any effort! Due to his sizeable BOINKY boinki-ness, he is apparently, bouncy in the tummy region. Also a CHICKIIIIIIIIIIIN. :)
Sara is a nun. 'nuff said. Haha nah there's MORE! Has to urge to bellow colloquial Malaysian-ish terms slightly resembling 'RAWRRRR!' and 'FUYOOOOOOH' and 'WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAO' periodically often and completely at random. Sara also is anti-abortion and can be in public seen cradling her son, a lion known as Boh Tan Beh Tan (from a previous fling with one of Jasryn Ng's pet tigers [don't ask how] in South Africa.) Also Jasryn Ng's secret lover (not secret anymore!) as well as partner-in-crime she is 'extremely hot' as quoted from Jasryn Ng and she comprises one third of the Uplands Sara(h) Collection. Once she laughed for 450314 minutes straight while in Aussss-trah-leah and people STARED because her laughing sounds mimic a person who is suffocating. She merajuks, is easily happified, and acts like a 5 year old, but doesn't give a damn. And if you have a problem with that, out comes her 'stabbity stab stab' finger which will happily make a 5-inch incision in your arm. Delighful.
Sarah is Uplands' Poet Laureate. Another third of the Uplands Sara(h) Collection, she has been running before she could walk and legend has it, that she was born wearing a pair of Nike Frees 3.0 ® in lime green. All grown up now, she enjoys her daily does of French Roast Demitasse Light Macchiatto Macchinetta Affogatto Arrabiatta Cappucino which partly fuels her enthusiasm for HOMEWORK! Married to a Mr. Rafael Nadal, who jet-sets with her to exotic locations around the world when competing in (and winning) tennis tournaments, she is currently enjoying a comfy sponsorship program with Nike ® who supply a completely NEW pair of running shoes from the Nike Running Lab ® She has yet to be caught by any male runner, well, actually ANY runner whatsoever. Sarah is currently searching for green witches in Greenwich (put up to her by Wei Yun) and is expected to return with 53 different pieces of poetry which are eagerly anticipated by the Uplands community, specifically Mr. Walton's class as a poetry reading which heavily features Ferrero Roche's are a stupendous reason for enjoying poetry. Loves scrap-booking, and always finds time in her homework-filled schedule for her grateful friends. :)
That there concludes me and Wei Yun's 'biography's (however random they are) and more shall come. If you guys are interested that is ;)
Cheers!
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