Dei macha

HELLOO
Sorry have been isolated from the world for the past 12381750296582087096739857x (where x is a real positive integer) days. Am currently in London sitting in a freezing apartment in High Street Kensington which is opposite Hyde Park which is 18372956209847264283650294873074y (where y is large real positive integer) times better and bigger than Botanical Gardens. There are little squirrels constantly crossing the road and the pigeons are fatter than I am. And they won't bloody move for you either. Have felt insanely guilty as I have done absolutely no damn work at all whatsoever nuh uh nada lala besides trying to memorise conjugated French verbs and making unnecessary Chemistry notes about dissolved levels of oxygen in water.

I miss all of you weirdos back home lah. Despite being all emo and angry about this trip, I am finding it okay except for the lack of work thingy. I've been running a bit, not as much as I would like but better than nothing. It's bloody snowing. First time in 70 years that it's been snowing in autumn. By 5 o'clock it's literally pitch black and it feels weird. My suprachiasmatic nucleus has not yet adjusted to the ambient light levels and thus I sleep at 7 p.m. and wake up at 2 a.m. to have breakfast. So I am quite literally all over the place. I have also been shopping, nothing bought for me, but all presents for you people. Ish. If only I didn't love you so much, then I'd have 183635083208371893692865402937z (where z is a ridiculously large real positive integer) pounds to spend on myself. It is currently 7.10 a.m. in the morning here and I am waiting for my 2nd breakfast to digest before I go for a run. I have a feeling it is going to rain mid-run, as rain has a knack of spoiling everything.

Notes to anyone even remotely considering visiting England:
1. The coffee here is quite good but I still prefer my Italian/French roast from Starbucks.
2. Everything is bloody expensive.
3. Harrods is a waste of time.
4. They have a Nike running lab and a place where you can bloody custom design your own Nike shoes so GUYS YOU KNOW WHAT TO GET FOR MY NEXT BIRTHDAY.
5. Bring a huge thick jacket otherwise you will freeze to death.
6. Fingers are the first body part to get numb from cold.
7. Don't forget to buy raspberries.
8. Don't come during winter.
9. The tram service is horrendous.
10. In London, no one talks English because everyone is foreign.
11. Shrewsbury is a nice little town with lots of little charity shops where you can find tons of nice little things which I indeed did.
12. The magpies are about the size of your head, not joking.
13. They put bacon in salad so make sure you STATE CLEARLY THAT "HELLO MISTER I DO NOT WANT BLOODY BACON IN MY SALAD".
14. People in little towns are very friendly and offer to take pictures for you.
15. Buy an Oyster ticket if you're thinking of travelling using the Underground as it saves you a lot of money.
16. They have lovely salmon.
17. Sainsburys is a nice supermarket.
18. Don't put too much -

**INTERRUPTION, SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE CAUSED**

7.19 A.M. TIME FOR RUN